The Empowered Women series of posts are written for women, by women. We interview some incredible women from all walks of life. They will be sharing their wisdom, experiences, and amazing work to inspire us to live our best lives.
This week we are interviewing Amie Leadingham, Master Certified Dating Coach and Author of ‘A Women’s Handbook to Online Dating: How to Successfully Find Love Online’. She has been named as one of LA’s Best Dating coaches and is speaking with us here to share some wisdom!
Master Certified Dating Coach
Amie on Youtube
Amie on Facebook
Hey Amie! Can you tell us a bit more about yourself and what you do?
Have you heard this line? Luck equals opportunity meets preparation? Oprah just did an awesome video on it! Well, I truly believe in that. I don’t think we as singles we prepare ourselves enough when it comes to dating. We just wing it. Which in turn gives us the dismal results that we have. My philosophy is to prepare yourself right now while you’re single. Learn all the relationship and dating skills ahead so that when you meet that special person. You have the highest chance of success. I mean we do it everywhere else in life, why wouldn’t we do it in love?
My approach is Conscious Dating and the most successful stories of the singles I work with start with clarity about their relationship non-negotiables. Most singles think they know them, they’ll tell me it’s height, how much money someone makes, the way a person looks. But you’d be shocked, when we create the list with my method, none of those things come up.
Instead, it’s deeper core values that they didn’t even know to screen for actually come up. And by using these non-negotiables and Conscious Dating,
I’ve helped many singles become couples and become families. This is what drives me every day. I love being a Relationship Coach.
What does empowerment mean to you?
To me, empowerment is when we give permission to ourselves to be authentic, limitless, to thrive, and uplift others around us. By our very being, we are the messengers of change and leave each person we meet in a better place, hopefully that has a ripple effect to others.
What challenges have you faced in recent years?
Wow! The ups and downs of being an entrepreneur. I came from the corporate world where everything was laid out for me, so this was all foreign to me when I jumped ship and decided to pursue my passion profession five years ago. I don’t think anyone prepared me for the mental work I had to embrace as an entrepreneur.
I think the hardest part is the pressure I put on myself and the expectations that caused me so much pain. I am a recovering perfectionist and I have to say letting go of that old identity was my biggest challenge.
How have you overcome them?
Mindfulness changed my viewpoint completely. I used to be one of those people that said, I can’t “meditate”.
It took a lot of practice and release of self-judgement to finally quiet my mind.
I found myself to be more compassionate to my thoughts and self-aware. I could catch myself going to my default reactions and redirecting to a new habit. And through that I gave myself permission to let go of expectations, be vulnerable, and learn how to live in present. It took me right back to when I was single and dating. These were the same skills I had to develop to be successful at finding my life partner. Funny how business and love go hand in hand! I guess it’s because you love and care about what you do, so you get emotionally attached.
What does Self-love mean to you?
Self-love is being able to love ourselves whole heartedly. Knowing that beauty has no definition and that our flaws make us unique. That we unapologetically love our authentic selves and make us a priority at all times.
How do you look after yourself day to day?
One of my recent self-care practices is to disconnect though creating in my art journal. I think as adults, we focus so much on work that we lose sight of the most basic form of happiness, which is playing. Painting, drawing, creating has connected me with my inner child again in the most fun and rewarding way. It’s also a stress reliever as my feelings are expressed and released through my art. I highly recommend art journaling if you haven’t tried it.
What do you do if you go off track?
When I feel sluggish or off track, first I start with self-compassion and give myself permission to feel this way because what you resist persists.
I take a “mini-mindset staycation” and of course I give it an expiration time, just like any holiday. Then I get back to my happiness regimen again…start my meditation practice, work out, read inspirational books, and connect with people that inspire me. It usually gets me out of the funk and back on track.
What advice would you give to other women to help them feel more empowered?
Feeling empowered starts with a mindset. Knowing that you are worthy and that there is no comparison. That society’s standard is false, it isn’t based on your status, how many things you have, or your beauty. Instead, you are worthy because you are alive, flawed, unique, and being authentically you with no apology. Walk into every room and knowing that you will feel empowered. You, do you and help lead others to do the same!
What’s your favourite dessert?
I’m such a sucker for the Lava Cake with Vanilla Ice Cream and I would say second would be Strawberry Cheesecake.
Many thanks for Amie Leadingham for sharing her excellent advice and knowledge with us! Remember to sign up for our mailing list to get the Empowered Women interviews straight to your inbox!